February 20, 2003
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Potty Talk
Inspired by Tej and OpheliaBedilia
Deconstructing the Myth: Contrary to what you’ve seen on Ally McBeal, most law firms do not have unisex bathrooms.
I wonder what would happen if I decorated one of the stalls in the ladies’ bathroom at work? Or, even better, one of the stalls in the men’s bathroom? You know . . . put a fuzzy toilet seat cover on the lid, toss a matching rug on the floor, and replace the hard toilet seat with the soft, mushy kind that makes a farting noise as it conforms to the shape of your buttocks?
Hmm. File that one away for April 1st.
I have some serious bathroom quirks. Strange, considering I find THIS absolutely hysterical. Some men joke about how women go to the bathroom in groups. Not me! I hate having to use public restrooms because of the lack of privacy. Would you ever stand next to someone you barely know as they use the restroom? No? Then why is it when we erect an inch-thick barrier between toilets, we think this behavior is acceptable? It isn’t.
I am not alone in feeling this way. A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless *cough*ManfredKuntz*cough* goes out of his way to use a relatively secret private bathroom on a different floor at his office (guess it is not a secret anymore – oops!). In most workplaces, however, employees are not afforded the luxury of privacy. This brings me to the very important One-Stall Buffer Zone Rule: when you go to the bathroom and discover – to your horror – that someone is already in there, make the best out of a bad situation and always choose the stall that is the farthest away from your bathroom mate. Men, with their urinal experience, are well-trained in this area. The same rules should apply to women. For hours of family fun while learning more about advanced bathroom etiquette, play:
The funniest thing about that game is how some of the characters aren’t using their hands.
But I digress.
In most women’s bathrooms, the walls between the stalls don’t even go down to the floor. I’m not sure why that is, other than to pass toilet paper to your bathroom-buddy if they should discover (mid-pee) that they are without. I hate that gap because everyone can see your shoes. Maybe I’m weird (this has been hypothesized many times over), but I can always tell who is sitting in the stall next to me just by looking down at their shoes. If people are forced to take care of the dirty business in close proximity, they should at least get SOME feeling of anonymity.
My proposed solution: stock up each stall with a year’s supply of Charmin and between the stalls erect a two-foot thick, floor-to-ceiling wall of concrete and steel covered in sound-proofing materal.
Oddly, there are some women that don’t seem to mind the lack of privacy. In fact, they see bathroom time as a “bonding experience.” Maybe THIS is the reason why I don’t have many close female friends!! I simply cannot carry on a conversation with my bathroom stall neighbor as if we were merely waiting in line at the grocery store.
Even worse, I have a shy bladder so I sometimes have problems “starting the deal” when I suspect there is anyone within earshot of the bathroom. I have to wait until they leave before I can begin. The women I find most annoying are those who finish their bathroom business, but spend ages primping in front of the mirror. Wash your hands, check your nose for HB’s (you can figure out what that means), and get out of there!
Every now and then, there will be a woman in the other stall with the same bathroom quirks as mine. The two of us will sit there silently, as if we are playing the “who will blink first” game, just waiting for the other to leave. I usually am the winner of such standoffs, but if my opponent is stubborn and I really need to go, I’ll just flush (purely for show), wash my hands, and go to an empty (hopefully) bathroom on a different floor.
This quirk of mine extends beyond public bathrooms as well. I absolutely, positively, without question, under no condition, CANNOT do the dirty business in someone else’s home, or when someone is in my home. Fortunately, I can go for days without doing Le Nombre Deux (sounds fancy in French, n’est pas?).
Xanga Notable Quotables
“I discovered that if you are buying a Valentines Day gift on the clearance rack its best to go out of town. Because when hubby walks in with the EXACT same gift for you, you will both be ticked off. I at least had the courtesy to remove the price tag.” – LonaMay
“Today is Valentine’s Day. I told my wife that we should go out and get each other’s names tattooed on some intimate parts of our bodies. She disagreed. I guess romance really is dead, oh well.” - otherbrotherdarrell
“I don’t want something that touches his junk touching my junk.” – Duckyguy
“Whores attacked my bus stop last night! What’s my proof? An empty dime bag and a bunch of broken press-on nails strewn throughout the bus shelter. Who needs more proof than that??” – goMetric
“Think back to the last time you copulated…..think of a good OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! It just works, kinda like peanut butter and bananas. So here’s what I need to know: What in the fuck do Atheists say when they’re getting their fuck on?” – SuperGlueLogic
Comments (115)
I never liked the idea of the ‘group pee.’ Or the whole ‘bonding experience’ deal… um, we are not bonding here… we are eliminating bodily wastes… and I don’t wanna talk or be talked to while I’m doing it. (Huh… I don’t have many close women friends either… but if I gotta do that to get them, then I’ll just continue hanging out with my penised-type friends, thank you very much!)
Sometimes I think about taking a crap at work just to see what the experience feels like. But then I always remember about that one guy where I work who ONLY takes a dump at work and always stinks up the bathroom. And I don’t want to be associated with that guy.
–End of Line–
did you know that there is a term for that condition (not being able to do one’s business in the presence of others): paruresis.
and sometimes us guys have to do it on a trough. can you imagine?
ROFL ~ I’m gonna bear that in mind for 1 April as well ~ nobody in my office has to know I copied you
And eesh.. that SGL ~ he’s one dodgy boy!!!
glad you’re back . . . I always laugh when I read your blogs . . . thanks
Wooohooo I made the quotes list!
haha….i’m not sure — i think i have a new found respect for you b/c you don’t do the group thing.
^_^
Count me in as one of those that doesn’t like to go to bathrooms with friends, nor do I want to talk to anyone while I’m in there. In fact, I won’t do anything until everyone leaves, even if it means sitting there for a long time.
And I just died with the shoe reference. I hate that! My shoes are pretty obvious so they can tell its me and I don’t want to be known as the girl with the stinky butt. No thank you! Even when I was in college my friend and I would take turns going INTO the bathroom because we didn’t want to hear each other pee. There’s just some things I DON’T want to share with anyone.
Do you ever do the obligatory “someone-is-in-here-with-you” cough? When someone does that, I usually reply with, “How’s it going in there?”
Or bring a squirt bottle of water in the stall with you and when you notice someone sit down next to you, squirt some underneath the partition and give a barely audible “oops.” Loads of fun!
Btw…I got all but the trick scenario on the Urinal Game. *shakes your hand*
Damn the man, on the Quest we just I just hang it over the bow and let it fly…
Sail on… sail on!!!
well… I guess he ought to put up a sign that says:
here i sit all brokenhearted came to shit and only wor-ked?
(lame , i know, but had to pay my homage to TheGoddess.)
THANK YOU.
The idea of the Ally McBealian bathroom is SO disturbing to me. I mean, *I* don’t even want to be there while I’m involved in such functions, and if i shared a bathroom with men I would become Queen Of Holding IT. It’s so disturbing.
Hey thanks for the recognition! By the by, I am so squeemish in the potty that I’ve memorized which service stations around town have one person bathrooms THAT LOCK, (that’s important) and will drive way out of my way to get to them if the situation is dire enough.
Ha! We’re a bunch of shameless women in my office. We’ll fart, piss, shit and talk about it all while we’re doing it.
“Here comes that corn from last night…”
Ok, not quite to that extreme, but you get the picture.
I actually witness much in our work restroom. I hide off in the side room to pump boobies and hear lots. Makes me wait until I get home to do anything…
I’m very shy about this type of thing. I also laugh at pretty much everything I shouldn’t. I can remember plenty of times softly peeing, while a couple inches away I hear moaning….WITH explosive poopy….and THEN, the smell. How can you not giggle, try to push the pee out faster, and run for your life?
Uh…I once drove from Texas to Colorado without using a public restroom…I held it all in the entire time, yes I know that makes me a freak…but I cannot place my bare ass anywhere close to a place where other bare asses have been before…in extreme cases, when I MUST use a public bathroom, I “hover” as high up as I can…o.k TMI
Sorry.
I am glad that I am not a shy pee’er. If I gotta go, I go. No time for me to pussyfoot around and wait for someone else to leave, because who knows what they have to do, and I don’t want to hang out long enough to find out.
Although I must fess up .. I am a clean bathroom snob. If it’s not neat and tidey THEN am I forced to hold it. I don’t want to see toilet paper strewn around like crepe paper, nor do I want to see the remnants of the previous users urine on the seat. Girls come on .. please remember, You are always a lady.
bwt, I would have been comment #10 if I hadn’t gotten lost in reading those links. I nearly tinkled on myself laughing at ManfredKuntz.
It drives me crazy when people feel the need to have a conversation while in the restroom. This is not a time to be chatting, people! I love having the bathroom to myself. It’s something private and I don’t enjoy hearing other people do their business.
I saw a lady in Spain stuck in traffic for hours get out of the car with a paper bag on her head and pee on the side of the highway. Gotta a good look at her ass but couldn’t identify her in a line-up.
Why do people want to talk to you while your peein’ anyway? I mean you can walk into a mens room and say “so this is where all the dicks hang out” and get away with that. But please don’t start a conversation with me… You are way to funny, I don’t know anyone else that can make a bunch of people talk about bathroom habits….
Can you imagine if they were to do that in CHURCH?
It would make the confessional even more of a challenge.
Blessings,
Paul
One time in one of my classes we got into a discussion about such matters and a couple of the guys enlightened us women on the “male public bathroom rules.”
1. When you go into a public bathroom, go to the urinal furthest away from the door.
2. If you go in and find someone else already in there, choose the urinal furthest away from him. (as you said already)
3. Always look directly ahead. Never down or to the sides.
4. Don’t speak.
Alas, I fear that I shall never attain the glory of being quoted by the Goddess. Sigh!
At work, we only have single bathrooms for each sex with a lock on the door. The only thing is I wouldn’t sit on the same seat that my coworkers do. They are absolutely disgusting when it comes to bathroom habits (one has a bad case of shedding pubic hair), so I try to hold my breath, run in, squat & pee, wash up and get out as fast as possible LOL.
i personally have only used public restrooms maybe 10 times in my entire life (give or take a few). Like you, i just can’t do it, i dont like hearing others pee, and i dont like them hearing me-i also hate it when someone’s bathroom is a mere two feet from say, the kitchen, and everyone is in the kitchen…but it’s a bladder emergency and you just gotta go!
A shy bladder….I’ve never heard it called that, but that’s exactly what I have!!!
The thing that always gets me about the Ally McBeal bathroom is that nobody ever goes in there except the “in-crowd” and the occasional client. Where to the admins all do their peeing?? A couple years ago on Oprah some woman from the audeince had said (I don’t know why they were talking about this) that she locks the doors and runs the water in the bathroom even when she’s home alone, so nobody will hear her pee. I’ll never forget Oprah’s reaction– “Honey, what are you hiding, that’s the one thing we all do. *Everybody* pees!! Even the Queen of England pees!!” I laughed for days.
…days without #2??? that can’t be healthy!!!
great topic though, I always enjoy reading the shit you write about. hehe
Very funny blog…you made my day more brighter.
i’m afraid i’m guilty of the group bathroom trip, but no one ever actually uses the bathroom at those times, they merely gossip maliciously about whoever isn’t present
i’m a huge fan of the fake pee too.
i have no shame, it bothers me not, i’d rather go than be uncomfortable and hold it. what i hate is the people tha hover & miss, but don’t clean it up, wtf?
That’s great. That reminds me of my boyfriend’s brother’s site. http://www.wallyworldlife.com You should read it. It’s quite amusing!
You should read my boyfriend’s brother’s site… http://www.wallyworldlife.com It cracks me up and reminds me of your entry. That picture is hilarious.
oh crap i posted twice i’m sorry
“I can go for days without doing Le Nombre Deux “
Whoa… I can hear your colon crying.
m{eye}k
I completely identify with your bathroom values. I’ve been married for six years and still….I poop alone, with the door locked if at all possible.
Just needed to share that
lmao. i’ve had to learn to pee with people in the bathroom but i hate hate hate public bathrooms. My body is completely off whack because there are just some bathroom needs I can’t do at work
and when I get home..doh. nada
The ONLY time I go in a group to the ladies room, is when myself, or another member of the group is so intoxicated they risk falling in. Grab onto the white donut!!! I share your freaky yet endearing bathroom traits…and I also am better than the Hoover Dam at holding back the waters, ’til I get home.
Better reading material at home too…
I refuse to do #2 in a public washroom. I have suffered the likes of constipation because of my morals.
great quiz. i find that the most comfortable urinals are the ones with stalls that they have at Jillians in Rockville. you wouldn’t know anything about them (most likely unless you ventured into the little boys room) but they have these huge wall partitions in btw the urinals from like the floor to the ceiling. you don’t even know if anyone comes up to the urinal next to you! so brilliant!
Didn’t notice until just now that you linked to an entry of mine that had been rendered impossible to read by my recent background change. Sorry about that!
And I agree with you for sure that bathroom time should NOT be social time with other women! Tell me what you have to say over coffee, not bodily functions!
I don’t do number 2′s in public restrooms. I hate when people do that.
Absolutely unbelieveable. I had no idea adults update thier xangas more frequently than teenagers. Or the fact that they even have open webblogs. I feel like I’m watching Bridget Jones’ Diary. I have a feeling that when I’m in my thirties, my free time will be spent webblogging to a thousands of readers, who really don’t know me. Please, i don’t want to be like you when I grow up, writing about potty habits. It doesn’t matter of you’re happy and rich. Noticing the scary e-coins, I shudder with fear.
asianspice: (1) my last blog was almost three weeks ago, (2) I am NOT in my thirties, (3) I’m happy?, (4) I’m rich???, and (5) what the hell are e-coins?
Hmm I always always wondered about the group thing//
back when i was in university, i had to take the dreaded C&O 230 (now Math 239). intro to combinatorics. lots of fun.
there was one chapter on 01-strings, and generating functions for them. one day, someone asked the prof, John Irving (no, not that John Irving) if there was any practical application for what we were doing.
someone suggested that if a 01-string represented desks, where 0 meant no student was at a desk and 1 meant a student was at a desk, and therfore you had to have a string with no “11″s in it, i.e. no two students could sit next to each other during an exam.
then another student suggested the same generating function could be used to represent urinals.
oh, and for the terminally curious, the generating function is:
phi(x) = (1+x)/(1-x-x^2)
and the corresponding regex is:
0*(100*)*(1+e)
solution courtesy of my friend steve.
between your blog and the comments i nearly pee’d myself! hehe… oh gawd, yuck.
my office restroom has a particularly interesting lil quirk. people like to leave their underwear in it. unfortunately this is neither the only place, nor the only personal item that is left. our friendly once-a-day-i-come-to-tidy-up-after-your-filthy-asses guy was kind enough to inform me that he has found women’s panties in our parking lot too. the best tho, was the day he found a used (note, uncleaned) dildo in the women’s bathroom on our floor. now answer me this… who in their right fuckin mind jacks-off in the middle of the day at work in the bathroom with their personal dildo, just to leave the soiled object on the floor next to the toilet? *shakes head in complete disbelief*
i also had a similar experience to indigo lady… on the Belt Parkway returning to my stompin grounds in Brooklyn from Long Island, in bumper-to-bumper traffic, beneath the under-construction Air-Rail line to JFK, a woman was trying to hide her squat behind her car (quite unsuccessfully). i wish i could say she was only taking a leak. however, a rather large chunk of us on the Belt Parkway, in both directions, got to watch this chic take a dump on the side of the road. i am so frightened at the lack of discretion some people have.
as usual, thanks for the kool-aid grin!
i used to take naps in the secluded bathroom at my old workplace… that is unless i could tell someone had used it… damn its easy falling asleep on the loo when youre hung over
I had no idea some people had these types of issues. If you gotta go, you gotta go. And believe me, after a 4-coffee morning, I gotta go. And people can’t really be offended by folks that go #2 in a public restroom – that’s what they’re there for! Or should we just plant geraniums in the bowls and have the plant service come by weekly to water them?
Very funny post.
I hate using public restrooms, too. It’s a nightmare. And they always, always smell like someone’s just taken a fresh dump. When I’m at school, if I have enough time I go pretty far out of my way just to use the faculty restrooms, because they’re almost always empty.
That’s nice
Jennifer
Thank you so much for the Urinal Game! Have you ever read Dave Barry’s “Complete Guide to Guys”? He has a whole chapter on the urinal rules, complete with diagrams. I showed my husband the game, he scored much higher than I did.
1) I totally could have written this blog. I do not use public bathrooms unless it is a dire emergency. I will sit in silence, or go to the most out of the way bathroom I can find, in order to have some privacy.
2) The only thing worse than public bathrooms with primpers is one-person bathrooms with someone waiting outside for you to hurry up and finish. Ugh, that doorknob-rattle… Pressure!
3) Don’t worry about what the teeny-boppers say
4) I get a serious case of happy when you update your blog! I wish you’d do it more often
well, damn it. unisex bathrooms were the only reason i was thinking of being a lawyer. now what will i do with my life? hey, isn’t being homeless ‘in’ right now?
yeah, i hate public washrooms. i dont like ppl talking to me while im on the crapper… im there for business, not pleasure. i dont like it when coworkers come in because i have to be really quiet… even though i know they know who i am (the shoes).
i really hate it when someone decides to park beside me to poo even though im already there (it always happens the morning after i drink a lot). i try to control it coming out, but its always worse because of that. its explosive… like every single muscle in my body contracts at the same time. its horrible.
LOL – wella, ya see, I’a, ummmm, don’t know where to start this comment lol. So,I’ll start selfishly by giving you a huge thanks for your comment on my site, regarding my plea for help, and for sharing some of your own experiences. Everyone that responding gave me the kick in the head and hand to hold – to finally say “okay – it’s not me – I knew it.. it’s him – GOODBYE.” Thank you sweetheart, genuinely and meaningfully… thank you.
Now – back your entry. Well, I’ve been pondering these very same thoughts for many years now – some on the same level as you – sometimes on other levels. My biggest issue on the public bathroom (though I have many) is.. “HAS NO ONE HEARD OF THE COURTESY FLUSH.” I mean really??? Is it not bad enough that I must “do my business” while others are around? Do I really need to smell a stranger too? Courtesy flush for crying outloud! If you must “poop” in public – for heaven’s sake – flush as you’re pooping.. this is NOT a pooping party! I am not there to see who can smell worse! I myself, don’t have a shy blatter – if I need to go – I need to go and frankly, couldn’t care who’s there or who knows, but there have been quite a few times I’ve wished for privacy and I think the thing I related to most was.. MUST THEY wash their hands, put on their makeup, dental floss their teeth, pick their thong out of their azz and make a cell phone call .. all before leaving the bathroom? Before I go – I’d like to say, that the most strange event that I’ve seen in the “ladies” room was staring down at the “neighbors” shoes, just to notice that they were standing/sitting the wrong way (facing the wall). This was a woman.. I saw her come out – so ask yourself this “what was she doing”.. because I’ve wondered that for years.
(((Hugs))) thanks again for your comment! The final verdict is in and posted on my site
I just had to show you this link… Chicago is fucked up.
I have the same bathroom fears, though I can go when it’s a close friend in the bathroom.
And.. you’re supposed to poop everyday – it isn’t healthy for your colon to keep that shit in there. Colon cancer is a good example.
lol… am inhibited when I can sense company… but my trick is to fart.. that usually gives me the space I need
Most of me doesn’t really mind public bathrooms…. but I, too, suffer from a shy bladder. It’s not so bad if there’s like a zillion people in the bathroom and no one can tell who you are or whatever, but if there’s just one other person…. aah, I can’t do it!
cowboybone is right…you are a funny person.
oh, god, I totally was joking…but as is sadly true, tone doesn’t always come through. I so wasn’t really busting on you. Gaah! Ack! Sorry! I love you!
Brilliant.
Once, years ago, we had a party and about an hour before the guests were due I spray painted the toilet seat silver. I SWEAR I thought it was quick drying paint. It wasn’t. It was quite funny though for a while
5 out of 6 in the urinal game. Not bad!
This is why I am fairly certain that a man didnot invent the pee trough.
That was hysterical….thanks for the chuckle : )!
Well hello! Why haven’t I been here before? Oh wait I know because i’m lazy!
Ummm I used to be shy until I had my son at that time while pushing him out my husband told me I became a play do factory. So you know I figure if I can do that I can shit in public, its all good, right?!
I definitely have no shyness problems, but I’m not real big on the bathroom conversation phenomena either – if you feel there’s something that really needs saying, fine; but just talking idly I’m like shut the fuck up – I can’t even hear you over my peeing anyway so why do you want to talk to me right now?
I am, at least in my work place, the Lord of Bathroom Etiquette. Nothing makes me more upset than having some stringy haired geeky technician follow me into the bathroom and ask me technical questions while I’m trying to empty myself. I have come so close to pee’ing on someones shoes for doing that that I’m suprised it hasn’t happened.
Something that is happening in epidemic proportions around here is people talking on their cell phones while shitting. SHITTING FOR CHRIST SAKE! I can’t imagine what level of comfort two people would have to have to be able to take part in ANY kind of exchange whilst one is busily moving their bowels. Again, this is coming from a guy that never even so much as farted in front of his wife, but fuck, what do you do, “Hold on honey, I gotta wipe and this may take a second.” Blah.
Nice to see you back.
You still know how to pack um in Goddess! Never a boring word! I dig reading your entries. It’s good that you’re back. Here’s two bouncing eProps just for you. Take care!
those are great!!!!
How do you ever find the time to sift through everyone’s comments? I’m just going to assume you’re never going to scroll down far enough to read this. It’s all the same drivel anyway: “Oh yeah, this one time I went peepee/poopoo…” and blogger after blogger will proceed to regale you with their own bathroom quirks and miscellaneous tales. I could share in the telling, but I’ll just let everyone before and after me to do the job. Well, good job anyhow.
Oh my gosh that is so true!! I would love to decorate the mens bathroom at my job. I just so happened to sit at a desk for awhile that was right next to the bathroom and I hated hearing the sounds that would echo from behind closed doors … LOL
There was a uni-sex bathroom at nightclub here in sydney called ‘Home’.
Funnily enough everyone was adult enough to not peep on eachother. Excellent place to have sex though
At my first job in the DC area I used to use the bathroom on the first floor because well no one used it. All of the offices were on the second floor, or 3rd.
cool
Gotta love toliet humour, i got some of that on my blog this week
thanks for sharing your steam of conciousness
hehehe
i’m amazed that you could get so many responses, and no one brings up the added difficulties of *changing the tampon* in public bathrooms. i absolutely need privacy for this operation, and will travel from bathroom to bathroom until i find one suitable for the task at hand…
PeeBall!
OMG – this is freaking hysterical! Bravo!
You too!!!!! My god, I thought I was the only one who got stage fright. But I fear that the strangers will wonder why I pee so loudly. And furthermore, they need to create LESS of an echo in bathrooms.
I hate to crap in any one else’s house but my own too. Also if someone is at my house (‘cept the usual people who are accustomed to my funny noises) I can’t crap also…
LOL at your bathroom phobias!! how cute are you!?!
the only reason i wouldn’t be for your proposed “stall/sound proof booth thingie” is because bathrooms always smell soooo bad!! eww! and not having the open bottoms and tops seems like it would just trap all of the disgusting poop-air!
*turns pale, vomits*
I have the exact same problem as you! Only, I get “backed up” when I “hold off” (like when I’m spending a weekend away) and it can take DAYS for me to recover….
Moo…
–End of Line–
giggles
Great blog! I laughed as I read it, and then I got to the comments…
Your hilarious take on the behavioural psychology of female toilets is true for the UK as well!
Le Nombre Deux! YES, my mother has the SAME EXACT condition you do!! ROFL…. she will go for DAYS without doing Le Nombre Deux!! and she can’t in anywhere else but her own home… hmm… my stepdad says it’s a mental thing… maybe we all need phsyciatrists, no?
Bathroom talk. My favorite!
You’re totally justified in your yen for walls that reach the ground. People totally need to realize that there is no such thing as anonymity when their shoes are involved. The whole pee-shy thing might be alleviated by my theory that all public restrooms should have some music. Any type of distraction to detract from the noise of bodily functions would be appreciated.
I’m with you, girl. While in college and living in the dorms, I used to take the elevator all the way down to the basement and use a secret bathroom down there or walk to a completely different dorm and use their lobby bathroom because I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. Performance anxiety at it’s best.
hahaha I always feel like Im gunna get mugged in public bathrooms. they’re dimlit and WAAAY in the back mosta the time…I mean…thank God I dont have to ride the Metro.
I have a potty story. You’ve inspired me. I shall credit you being my potty story nostalgic muse when I update that legendary post.
[mutter] … [pout] … why isn’t there a fresh Goddess post?????
Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
You make me laugh. I promise. And in my head, I give eprops. My apologies if these don’t always register with reality.
Dear Superglue: I have never been an atheist, however I can tell you that some Taoists go cross-eyed.
(one e-prop given again, out of traditional awkwardness – the post was entertaining and good, although I think your concentration on bodily function is funny.)
Goddess, you’re tops. But you know that.
Potty stories! At your age!
LOL!!!
I loved it though, it’s all true!
Showed the potty story to my mom, and she was disgusted beyond belief. Thanks Goddess!!!!
I totally know what you mean, I hate peeing in the public restroom when it’s only me and one other person. It seems too.. personal. Especially when it’s your boss and you know it by the shoes! And I must admit, I ALWAYS win the “who will pee first” game
I’m diggin’ it!
You never post!!
Just passing through. I love the blog.
That is absolutely hilarious. I have to agree with you on the potty thing. I wonder why women started needing to go in groups, its just not right.
That was a very nice surprise … I didn’t nknow where you’d gone. I asked deadstar about you a few times. Mostly bc I just wondered if you were ok.. he said you’d been preparing for a case. Then I had a legal question to ask you – but I don’t anymore hehe.. I got it answered for me.. Was nice to see you.. (well see your type lol). Hope all is good and going well with your case. Don’t disappear for so long, I’m a worry wart
.
From one single person in this age group to another, I’m always an email away if you ever need someone to talk to. Actually, if my life wasn’t so upside down, I’d only be a road trip away if you ever needed a friend near by. Whatever it is that’s kept you so busy – don’t apologize – we can’t always live online – sometimes the outside life needs our attention. I did miss you though. Hope things work out as you wish them to. ((hugs))
Ehehehhe, a toilet in an office… its about time!!!
I just LOVE toilet humor.
There is so much culture in women’s toilet areas. 
In Europe, they often have full-on floor-to-ceiling enclosed stalls.
I just LOVE Xanga Notable Quotables. GoMetric KILLS me!
Danielle, did you get my email?
Goddess/Danielle, where ya been? I miss yer funny blogs!
Hi godess – eh, where else but on xanga can we get to know so well what women think on all of these most important issues? Re: quoteables? I am now frequently starting a segment which I refer to as ‘things said that godess should know about.” The funniest was ghettoxkigga, when she said, her and a friend were goin ta see god! Some guy hoped she took pics cause he’s a ‘fokin’ god freak. See That? luvs, JtheP