September 25, 2002
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I’m off to Disney World!
Dad decided to kick it old school for this family vacation, insisting we cram six people and their week’s worth of luggage into his mini-van and hit the road (jack) for the fifteen-hour drive to the world of Disney. After thoughtful consideration (about .003 seconds), I decided I’d fly and meet them there. I’d rather get an intrusive body cavity search by overzealous airport security guards than take a fifteen-hour road trip with my family. No offense to my family – I doubt I could travel in a confined space with anyone for that long. I’m predicting that by the time they get to Orlando, my parents will have filed for divorce, my brother will have “mysteriously disappeared” somewhere on I-95, and my sister will have eaten my six-year old niece.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. The family vacation is just my cover. I have a greater mission: to seek revenge on the Duck. For what, you ask? Picture this: Orlando, Florida — November 1979. I was a wide-eyed, innocent five-year old girl skipping through the magical pathways of Disney . . . when I spotted Donald Duck.
At that tender age, I believed he really WAS Donald Duck, and not some bitter, pimple-faced teenager being paid minimum wage to wear a duck costume in the stifling 80-degree heat. I ran up to hug my favorite Disney character. Donald pulled me in close and then . . .
He flashed my white cotton panties to the entire world!
Admittedly, he probably just exposed me to my family and a few onlookers, but to a five-year old, that IS the entire world. This traumatic event scarred me for life! And I think it is reasonable for me to blame the Duck for the lifelong battle I’ve had with unintentional flashings in public places. Now, twenty-three years later, it is payback time! I’ll be back on Monday.
Donald Duck: adorable Disney icon or kiddie porn ringleader?
You decide, but keep this in mind: he likes to surround himself with little kids and he never wears any pants!
Comments (61)
donald better be watching his back….i almost feel sorry for him, knowing that you’re after him…poor water fowl won’t have a chance.
We went 3 times last year and that feathered little bastard was nowhere to be found. I assume all the porn available on the internet keeps him indoors most of the time. Good luck.
Aww, what a traumatic event for a little kid. And your family was nice enough to capture this moment on film.
I want to come tooo!!!!! Take me! Take me!!!!
LOL…I always had a bad feeling about that Duck. Good luck on your mission
ha that was hilarious
Oh my, this is not the first bad encounter with the “The Duck” that I’ve heard. You go get him Goddess, bring back every limb in a garbage bag. Do JUSTICE for ALL the scarred-for-life children!!!!
That duck was always up to no good!!!!!
I never liked Donald that much, and now I like him even less. Goofy is my favorite. I’ve only been to Florida twice, and we drove the first time. I was living in Maine at the time. A twenty-eight hour drive. Not fun. I definitely recommend the flying. I hope you have a fabulous time. Are you leaving soon or not for a while?
please that’s nothing- i was anally raped in by mickey mouse in an epcot center storage closet
Yeah, so aren’t you glad you did as your mother told you and wore clean knickers that day?!?
Awww, I rather like the Duck. At least prefer him over the closeted Mouse. Well, good luck in your avenging endeavors and have fun.
Danged ducks…between him and daffy they give us avians a bad name
Thought you might be able to use this :
Title: Cantonese Roast Duck
Categories: Chinese, Poultry
Yield: 6 servings
1 Duckling rubbed inside and
-out with 2 tablespoon salt
2 tb Sherry
2 tb Hoisin sauce
2 tb Dark corn syrup
1 ts Five spice powder
1 tb Ground brown bean sauce
Rub duck inside and out with salt and refrigerate overnight. Mix remaining ingredients and rub on duck inside and our until used up. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Place duck on rack, breast side up, in pan with 1 inch of water. Roast 1 hour, turn duck over, roast 1 hour more. Turn duck breast side up, increase heat to 350 degrees and roast 30 minutes. Remove from pan and cool. To serve, carve in the chinese manner, bones and all. Or carve as you would poultry. If carved chinese style, the duckling may be wrapped in foil after carving and frozen. Reheat in foil in 300 degree oven for 30 minutes.
But Donald Duck doesn’t wear panties. He doesn’t even wear PANTS. Isn’t that a little disturbing?
Disney is the best… have fun!
Haha!! Have a great time!! How exactly does one plot revenge on a duck??
oh sure…just balme the duckman for your compulsion to flash people. i see how it is! speaking of flashing….keep me posted on the halloween thing!
Order a hit on the duck or let me get him I’ll really make him suffer “chiness torture” or “water torture” MUHAHA…
Just swinging through, hilarious post!!
Hope you have a good one
Just swinging through, hilarious post!!
Hope you have a good one
LMAO! I’m sorry your white n’ rufflies made their grand appearance. Make sure to kick Donald in his… wait, he doesn’t even have nuts! Pluck him!
Donald is the man! You can’t blame him for the occasional accident. I’d be pissed all the time too if a rat recieved all of the attention. He didn’t even get a chance to talk on the Mickey Mouse Club. He’s driven over the edge. His temper is only an symptom.
Personally I’m bent out of shape everytime that I go into a Disney outlet and can’t find a single Donald item. Donald is standing strong in the face of racism. Fight the power!
Ha…ha… Best of luck getting your revenage. Give him a headlock and take the pic. Post it up on Xanga. This is your mission if you choose to accept it.
I am waiting for the recent flashing pic.
Oh my god!!! I LOVE Donald Duck, he’s my favourite character!!
Please don’t hate him! It makes me sad! 
P.S. Hope you have a blast!
Big porn star…I mean why do you think he talks like that…half of most people can understand what he’s saying..he’s really saying stuff like lick me hard….or finger me in the bum. He’s got an english accent…lol
Careful.
One time. I saw Donald flip out because he couldn’t get the faucet to stop from dripping.
Who knows what he’ll do when he recognizes your face.
Oh…and he will recognize your face.
I think Donald Duck is illegal in Norway because he doesn’t wear underpants.
I’m also illegal in Norway for the same reason.
I’d say the duck is a perv. I heard an audio soundbite of him once, and he’s not completely rated G anyway. I have my suspicions about the whole Disney clan. Especially that Michael Eisner character. What kind of freako cartoonist came up with that guy anyway?
What will be your means of retribution?
Your posting quacked me up…
sorry, really, I had no control…..
have fun!
LOL! I’m glad my child didn’t see Donald when we were there this past spring!
That is a great picture. You are a lawyer. I’m pretty sure you could take Disney to the bank for what they have done to your psyche.
This is a beautiful site! I love the graphics and the layout.
I like Donald Duck, he rocks!!
At last… I have found a Xanga-ite that has as warped a sense of humor as my own!
…but if he gets you again this time, I want to see the pic!
Forget the duck…what’s happening with the kidnapped WWF doll????
wow. you totally win.
wow u get so many props lol.I feel so jealous.ohwells heres 2more
donald duck and i talked about you the other day…but then he pulled down my pants too! hmmph! some friend he is!!!…
Speaking of Disney … My friend Cory is something of a disneyophile. His newest novel is down and out in the magic kingdom.
uh….i am that donald duck in that picture. and i meant to do that bahahahbabahhhah
Here’s two props for you
[ foof ] -=] (smile)
hehehe… great story!
oH gOsh gRoW uP iTs jUsT a fRiKiN hArMLeSs dUcK aLrEaDy
i LOVED ur story….i hope u get back at the duck!
damn duck….
I like it here
write on
mfm
That’s funny!
Thanks for the flash, er, I mean the LAUGH!
see, one little panty-exposure in childhood and then you wake up one day and you’re converting a steve austin action figure into a vibrator. for shame. disney is eeeevil.
I always thought he was some sorta perv. good luck on your mission..
*laughs hysterically* Have fun seeking your revenge.. I love Disney.. but all those sex and drug references in their movies make me wonder what their real agenda is..
white cotton…how naughty…sick duck….very sick duck…
as for the previous blog – when in high school we – i mean, someone kidnapped the yearbook editor’s troll doll…when demands weren’t met, troll ear in a box…then troll with a flattop (thereby rendering it an un-troll)…by the time troll was returned, he made patty hearst look normal…
hope the revenge is delightful…
Peace…PJ
I love Disney World!! Oh..btw..how did you get the eprops like that with the bouncy faces???
.::Peachy::.
Oooooooh! Hope you had fun!!!!!
omg! evil in its most purple form!
lol
you’re hilarious!
So…how are you going to expose Donald?
That picture is priceless!
YAY! Congrats! You’re the featured site on the main page!
All i gotta say is…”HAH”
Nice stories. Keep up the good work.
that is hilarious!