October 12, 2006

• JORDANSMORGASBORDEN: The Funniest Niece on the Planet

  (age 11)

   

  Heidi: You’re the best!

  Jordan: No, you’re the best.

  Heidi: Okay, I’m the best, but you’re a close second.

  Jordan: You’re the best, I’m second best, and Uncle Greg is third best.

  Heidi: Really?  I’m surprised you still say that since he doesn’t come visit you much anymore.

  Jordan: Well, Aunt [TheGoddess] is right up there.

   

  *     *     *

   

  At camp, there was an altercation between two girls, after which the “pretty one” began teasing the “fat one” about her weight.  On Thursday, the whole group went to the beach and the pretty one got stung by a jelly fish in her private region.  Upon hearing this story, Jordan giggled uncontrollably and said, “All’s well that ends well!”

   

  *     *     *

   

  [At the grandparents’ house]:

  
  Heidi: Time to go!

      Jordan walks into the bathroom.
  Heidi: Is this going to be a long one?
  Jordan: Trust me . . . you want me to get rid of this here.

   

  *     *     *

   

  Heidi: How do I look?

  Jordan: You look great . . . especially from the front. From the side . . . not as much.
  

      Later: 

  Jordan: Mom, don’t feel bad. All fat people look fat from the side.

   

   

  • 11:39 am
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