September 26, 2005

• My Sunday Nights Have Meaning Again!

  
  

  

  
  

  This is so totally not photoshopped.  I swear.*

  
  

  
  

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  These Xangans Made Me Snarf My Starbucks Grande Mocha

  
  

  (which is really painful when you order it extra hot)

  
  

  “7:15 AM Wake up and yell at the alarm clock ‘cause he’s a ‘goddamn liar.’” – ryan_jl

  
  

   

  
  

  “Best pickup line I’ve heard: ‘Hey, mind if I hang out here for a bit until it’s safe to go back where I farted?’” – Garick

  
  

   

  
  

  Back at New England College and it’s been pretty damn awesome. I’m livin with Devin this year and it would be pretty cool, but he keeps on muttering in his sleep, “Boy, I sure do love balls in my mouth and dick in my ass.” It’s pretty creepy, but no one is perfect. Except for me. I am. – Willy_Fisterbottom

  
  

   

  
  

  “Sometimes things smell like b.o. that aren’t supposed to.” – Matira

  
  

  “97 is the number of steps that I have to climb in order to reach the area of where one of my projects is taking place. If I had built those steps, I would’ve thrown in 3 extra steps just to make it an even 100 and I would make the last three steps into a tiny little escalator.” - jysaac

  
  

  “i look at my page statistics, and think ‘maybe people actually read this.’  then i realize that 10 out of 12 page views are from the ‘Lois Griffin Nude’ guy.” – trx0x

  
  

   

  
  

  Yesterday in English class I got a few more papers back that I had written. Every single one a fucking A-. Not one solid A. Not that I am some over achieving bitch that cries when she gets an 89% instead of a 90%, but this is ridiculous. The only conclusion I can come to, is that he has some kind of sick vendetta against me because I won’t sleep with him. Which is completely ridiculous, because I totally would!” – BeckNCallGirl

  
  

   

  
  

  “When you’re firing a prop gun that has a blank in it, you still have to be careful because there may be material or debris in the barrel that can come out when the weapon is fired. This rule applies to farting too.” – toxicned

  
  

   

  
  

  “Bill sat down at his typewriter and the words immediately began to pour out of him. Apparently, the smoothie he’d made from one of his old philosophy textbooks didn’t agree with his stomach. He picked a few paper scraps from between the keys and resolved to try again later with civics.” – FlashFiction

  
  

  
  

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  * Okay, it is photoshopped.  I admit it . . . I superimposed Patrick Dempsey’s head on the body of the male model I posed with for the latest cover of Entertainment Weekly.  I figured I needed this explanatory footnote for those readers who actually thought I was IMing with God in my last entry.

  
  

  • 8:52 pm
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