Apparently, I’m playing a little game with the office cleaning staff called “Hide the Trashcan.” No one actually informed me that we were playing, but every morning when I come into my office, my trash can is in a different place. You’d think after four months, they would have run out of hiding places, but they’re crafty! You’d also think after four months, I’d remember we are playing the game, but each morning I throw my empty yogurt container on the floor where the trash can is supposed to be.  Last week, I tried hiding the trashcan under my computer desk, but either (a) that’s not part of the game, or (b) my hiding spot was too difficult, because they just didn’t empty the trashcan.  Sore losers!

Why Japan is Number One

Or, See . . . People DO Read My Blog!

Michelle: awhile back, you posted something about public restrooms and your problems with them on your blog.  I read it the other day, and thought you needed to know about some toilet innovations in Japan . . . . Not only do most of their public restrooms have walls that reach all the way to the floor, they are made of some serious painted walls (like countertop material).  They also have the standard bidet, seat warmer, and spray (all adjustable for strength and heat on the console next to the toilet). 

Michelle: Last but not least, they have something that will alleviate the principle concern you voiced—they have these things that look like intercom boxes on the wall by the TP.  you push the button, and for about 30-45 seconds, there is a loud flushing noise emitted from the box (the toilet is NOT flushing, its just white noise to cover up *other* noises).  no one ever has to know what happened.

Read the Potty Blog HERE.

“I’d like to take this moment to discuss the importance

of the courtesy flush.” – thechun

Channel Surfing with the Goddess

“I love women who like me. That’s a big turn on.” – Adam from The Real World. *CLICK* Bennifer is no more. *CLICK* New Goldfish Crackers jingle: And they’re made with real cheddar / They never have looked better / Bet you never thought one day / you’d eat a purple Goldfish.  Actually, I had no doubts whatsoever. *CLICK* Sue Johanson, the old lady on Oxygen’s Talk Sex, scribbles notes before her callers even begin describing their problems.  What is she writing?! *CLICK* Ben and J-Lo are back. *CLICK* Anyone who didn’t see any of the “twists” on Paradise Hotel coming deserved to be booted off. *CLICK* “ONE! LOUSY! THUMB!”  That line from the Arby’s commercial cracks me up every time.  Often I randomly interject this line into conversation, and that gives me the giggles, but it seems no one else finds it very funny. *CLICK* Ben and Jen: Are they or aren’t they? *CLICK* Did the blonde virgin on The Bachelor really say that she wanted to marry Bob and become his servant?! *CLICK* Who’s in charge of naming hurricanes? Fabian? Henri?! Isabel?! Hurricanes need to have intimidating names like Butch, Spike or Danielle.  Actually, there was a hurricane Danielle in 1998.  I remember my mom cut out all the headlines from the paper: “Danielle wrecks havoc on the East Coast” and “Locals Brace for Danielle.” That kicked ass. *CLICK* If I hear one more reporter mimic Arnold Schwarzenegger’s accent  and/or make a bad pun about his movie Total Recall when discussing California’s recall election, I’m going to throw my TV out the window.  Okay, maybe I won’t do that . . . but I’ll angrily change the channel.

I really love these new Anne Klein slides I bought, but sometimes they make farting noises when I walk around the office.  I know it is just air pockets, but I’d still like to yell to the nearby secretaries, “That’s not me! It’s my shoes!” I think that would make me look more guilty.  I swear, though, it is the SHOES!

More Evidence That I’ve Been Molested By Disney Characters

This was from our Disney trip a year ago, but Mom just got this roll of film developed. Isn’t Tigger’s paw a bit too close to my boobal region?!!

See previous evidence HERE